Being ace

It’s Asexual Awareness Week! Well, it’s about over, to be honest. I am late. Sorry.

I am an asexual, meaning that I don’t experience any sexual attraction to people. I’m also bi-romantic, meaning that I am interested in both genders when it comes to romantic relationships.

I have identified as ace for a couple of years now, though I haven’t been come out to people about it until recently. It’s my sex-life (or lack of one), which makes it the business of me and my hypothetical partner. Who is now one of the people who knows about it, because as I said, this is something that concerns him.

I did worry about it for a long time. ‘Surely’, I told myself, ‘everyone wants to have sex, and feels attracted in that way to other people. But I just don’t see the big attraction about this.’ Yes, I love my partner, and I want to be intimate with him, but for me intimacy doesn’t mean having sex. I’ve had it. It’s nice in its own way, but not something that I would go out of my way for.

For me, intimacy is being together, being close both physically and mentally. It’s the sharing of in-jokes, and getting the giggles about something that wouldn’t be funny to people on the outside. Holding hands when out and about. Sharing a bed and recommending books and music to one another. That kind of thing.

Reading or hearing about people who would do anything for someone just because of the great sex they’d been having always confused me. ‘That is a valid reason to rob a bank, an exceptional orgasm?’

I am not knocking boots sex. It’s not for me, and that’s all right.

I am an asexual, and not ashamed of that.

Pieces of Ace: a podcast by aces, for aces and anyone else who wants to listen. Updates weekly, full of cats, cake, and chaos.
Asexuality Visibility and Education Network: Want to know more about asexuality? Visit the AVEN-wiki! Or join their forums.


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